BAND NAME: As Lions And Lambs
GENRE: Metalcore / Deathcore
STATUS: Active
LOCATION: Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Lineup:
Matt McNamara - Vocals
Mitch Blank - Guitars
Dan Schweikert - Bass
Zach Blank - Drums
Past members:
Adam Snyder - Vocals
Links:
Discography:
Waves Of Fire (single, November 28, 2013, Independent) (Digital)
1. Waves Of Fire 3:47
We started a fire within
It's not hard to see
It will burn eternally
We have come alive
And we've been set on fire
Come now and taste the lies you have produced
Come now and see the disaster you have caused
Waves of fire will consume, consume everything
Bow down before him
See the glory pouring form his head
Come forth, experience the pain
The deceivers will fall
There's no getting away
Waves of fire will consume, consume everything
You can't get away
They'll carry you down, carry you down
The deceivers will fall
Waves, waves, waves, waves
Waves, waves, waves, waves
You'll meet the waves, and the Son will show
And now you'll see the end
What has been foretold, but ignored
Meet the one who you refused
We have come alive
Face The Storm (EP, October 24, 2014, Independent) (Digital)
1. Compass 4:25
2. Bearing The Mark 4:00
Raise your king up on a throne
Built on the shoulders of your own complacency
His regime is a product of rejection
There he stands
Your ruler and your destiny
There he stands
Put to death what is of this earth
Your lust, your greed, your impurity
Rid yourself of the malice within
You bear the mark of idolatry
Because of these
The wrath of God is coming
Because of these
The wrath of God is coming
No more, put it aside
No more, put it aside
You used to walk in these ways
In the life you once lived
You used to walk in these ways
In the life you used to live
3. Art Of Filth 3:55
4. Vessels Of Destruction 3:56
5. The Heart Of The Father 6:00
Bearing The Mark (single, February 27, 2015, Independent) (Digital)
A re-release from the EP "Face The Storm", with improved recording and new instrumentation.
1. Bearing The Mark 3:59
Raise your king up on a throne
Built on the shoulders of your own complacency
His regime is a product of rejection
There he stands
Your ruler and your destiny
There he stands
Put to death what is of this earth
Your lust, your greed, your impurity
Rid yourself of the malice within
You bear the mark of idolatry
Because of these
The wrath of God is coming
Because of these
The wrath of God is coming
No more, put it aside
No more, put it aside
You used to walk in these ways
In the life you once lived
You used to walk in these ways
In the life you used to live
Self:Righteous (single, October 24, 2015, Independent) (Digital)
1. Self:Righteous 4:39
You, you break my heart
Your self-righteous spirit tears my church apart
My tears run freely as rivers of pain
Mourning those killed for my name
You spit in my face
Yet my blood runs freely with grace
Yet you reject my gift
And choose to persecute those who refuse to bow down to you
I can hear the souls of the martyrs crying out
The voices of those who have been slain in my name
"How long, how long until your judgment comes and our blood is avenged"
You, you break my heart
Your self-righteous spirit tears my church apart
My tears run freely as rivers of pain
Mourning those killed for my name
You think you know my heart
But you don't truly see
Will you ever accept my love
Don't you see I can set you free
Tortured, burned and impaled
Beheaded on a stormy beach
By cowards with their faces veiled
Hung by ropes and stabbed in the heart
Because of your evil deeds I'm torn apart
I'm torn apart
You've made him twice as much a son of hell
I ache for those I love
I am filled with pain
Their souls will rise above
They will rise above
My heart lies on the ground
Shattered by your ignorant words
These faithful few are far more righteous than you
You are the unholy ones
You are savages
Contorting my will for all mankind
You are murderers
Will you ever understand my heart
Lightbearer (album)
April 22, 2016, Independent (Digital)
October 24, 2016, Independent, Instrumentals (Digital)
October 21, 2017, Independent, Extended Edition (Digital)
1. Stephen 4:10
I hear them coming to drag me away
I hear them coming but I won't run away
I'll stand trial for my King
For He has already bought my victory
Do what you will
The best is yet to come for me
I stand for my God
And His Son at the right of His throne
The Son you killed, He rose again
The Son you killed is the light for men
The Son you killed is my salvation
The Son you killed offers you salvation
Yet you are stiff-necked and set in your ways
Just as your fathers did you deny God's way
How many prophets turned away in dismay
As you chase kingdoms that will burn today
Don't you see God's plan in all things
His story painted through our history
From our covenant father to Calvary
His work has always bought our victory
We've been stranded in the desert
We've been beaten as slaves
And everyone that has been sent
You either killed or sent away
But all the pain and scars were designed by the maker
The path He planned for the ultimate Savior
Now I will join the masses of martyrs
I see Heaven opening up
The clouds part to clear my view
I see Christ standing at the right hand of God
Wearing a crown as king
I see Heaven opening up
The clouds part to clear my view
I see Christ standing at the right hand of God
His arms outstretched, He's calling me home
Father forgive them
Take this body
End this life
Crush this body
Begin afterlife
2. Self Righteous 4:36
You, you break my heart
Your self-righteous spirit tears my church apart
My tears run freely as rivers of pain
Mourning those killed for my name
You spit in my face
Yet my blood runs freely with grace
Yet you reject my gift
And choose to persecute those who refuse to bow down to you
I can hear the souls of the martyrs crying out
The voices of those who have been slain in my name
"How long, how long until your judgment comes and our blood is avenged"
You, you break my heart
Your self-righteous spirit tears my church apart
My tears run freely as rivers of pain
Mourning those killed for my name
You think you know my heart
But you don't truly see
Will you ever accept my love
Don't you see I can set you free
Tortured, burned and impaled
Beheaded on a stormy beach
By cowards with their faces veiled
Hung by ropes and stabbed in the heart
Because of your evil deeds I'm torn apart
I'm torn apart
You've made him twice as much a son of hell
I ache for those I love
I am filled with pain
Their souls will rise above
They will rise above
My heart lies on the ground
Shattered by your ignorant words
These faithful few are far more righteous than you
You are the unholy ones
You are savages
Contorting my will for all mankind
You are murderers
Will you ever understand my heart
3. Fury 5:17
Lay your cloaks at my feet if you're here for the killing
If this one's a shepherd then we'll scatter his sheep
They'll flee from the sounds of our feet as we cleanse this land of heresy
Our homeland will be made whole again
I will crucify every one of these men
None of these followers will rise again
The women and the children led away in chains
We'll see what becomes of this Christ's name
I will snuff out their candle, pull the wick from within
This way cannot be a light for them
Our ways have been set through the generations
As traditions for God's chosen nation
Who do they think they are
What do they think this is
There is no room for this heresy and I am licensed to kill
I was trained from an early age
Our laws are my passion
I was brought up in the only way
To protect it is my mission
I will do my part
To train this generation
I will do my part
To protect this, my nation
I am the very hand of God
His talons outstretched as I deal out death
I will strike, like a hammer on an anvil
Strike, strike, strike until there's nothing left
I am Saul, Saul of Tarsus
Learn to fear my name
I am Saul, Saul of Tarsus
I will end this "way"
4. Redirection 4:04
So, you say your name is Saul
You say you'll end My Way
Saul, I'm the one who made you Saul
What can you do to stand against Me
Is it hard to kick against the goads
Don't you feel the pain as you stray from My way
Oh don't you feel My pain, don't you feel the pain
The pain of seeing a son so turned against My name
I am the truth you could not find
So let Me show you who I am
I am the one they crucified
I am the Christ that you deny
The men you killed, they stood for Me
Your hate binds you, I will set you free
I will bring you back
This is the voice of me calling you
I will bring you back
You'll be a light to call others homes
I'll send you out into the darkness
You'll be a light for me
Through you ears will be opened
Blind eyes will see
You closed your mind, I'll close your eyes
You'll never shut me out again
The one who will open your eyes
Is one you would have despised
I'll show you the multitude of suffering that will be yours
You will be despised as you follow My name
You will be put in prison, you will be stoned
You'll be shut out, cast out, shipwrecked and left alone
Abandoned by your kin
And prisoner in a strange land
The path you're on brings suffering
I will bear you up
The road you're on is paved with hardship
I will be your strength
I made you for this
The vessel for this message
(You will) go forth to the Gentiles
Bring to them My light and life
5. Saul:Paul 2:19
6. Blind Sight 3:57
I'm blind, what have you done to me
You said that I was chained, and you would set me free
But I thought I waged war for You
Was my faith so misconstrued
Where is the angry God
The God who hates heresy
Where is the God I thought I knew
I thought that I was following after You
It's been three days, I still can't see
But You are getting through to me
I still don't fully understand
But Christ please set me free
Set me free
God please open my eyes, I wanna see your glory shine
My spirit is awakening
Your love and mercy are covering me
I finally see the person I'm supposed to be and am called to be
My child, don't you ever forget
That I loved you
Before you ever loved Me
And I had a plan for you
When I set you free
If you carry your cross and run the race
I promise one day you'll see My face
You will claim the final victory
As long as you follow after Me
I will carry my cross and run the race
I know that one day I'll see Your face
I will claim the final victory
As long as I go where You're leading Me
I will build where I once laid waste
I will love with a heart that only carried hate
I spent my life tearing down the only true foundation
And now I'll built it up
I will go to the ends of the earth
To proclaim Your name and Your worth
Over the land or on the story sea
I'm on Your mission to set souls free
Set souls free
He touched my eyes, the scales came off
He cleansed my mind, the scales are gone
For the first time in my life I've opened up my eyes
The deceiver is defeated, I'm no longer blind
7. Inner War 3:53
I am at war with myself, things never seem to change
Every time I win this fight, I wake to find myself in chains
Over and over and over again
Over and over still I cannot win
This war has dragged on for so many years
That I will not overcome is my biggest fear
I do what I don't want, and don't do what I want to do
This dichotomy is killing me
Thank God for a Savior
I am a liar and a hypocrite
The chief of sinners
Please save me from myself
I am my own worst enemy
What I hate most wells up from within
Everything from my former self
Is holding me back, is promoting my sin
All the good I want to do
Is left to die as I give in
All the evil desensitizes
My most effective anodyne
I need to fight this evil
I need to accept the truth
That Christ came into the world to save its sinners
Of whom I am the worst
I am the worst of sinners
I am shown mercy so that in me
His patience is on full display
So why is my spirit at war, why can't I follow his way
I am at war with myself
It's the same old thing, over and over
The same old thing, again and again
Every time I pull this thorn from my skin
I feel it tearing my flesh again
And every time I think I've won
It digs and it digs until I'm overcome
It's the same old thing, over and over
The same old thing, again and again
8. Jews And Djentiles 5:03
We were all dead
Rotting, empty, broken, hopelessly gone
Blindly following the dictator of the unseen world
Yes I was a dead man
Committing crime and killing Christ
Condoning corruption just to see God's demise
I was dead inside
We all lived in darkness
We had no sense of consequence
Trapped in a lie we were blinded
The perfect contrast against righteousness
We all lived in darkness
We had no sense of consequence
Despite the filth
And through our guilt
Our father gave us new life
He breathed his life into us
Giving us true purpose, now we are finally free
He made us new creations, shattered our past and showed us what we were made to be
Made to be
Our lives taken by the potter's hands and made new again
We're born again, we have vitality
Proclaim his name for the world to see
He gave us new life and made us new
Through his mercy, not our merit, not through anything we do
This life is a gift for all who believe
Possession of this salvation does not make us better than others, rather humble servants and ambassadors for Christ's sake
Pick it up
This is a gift, this is a call
Use it for the kingdom or you'll waste it all
This is a gift, this is a call
Use it for the kingdom or you'll waste it all
Resurrect
Resurrect, resurrect me now
Salvation isn't meant to be confined
Preach the good news to the rest of human kind
Proclaim it to the beat down, lost, and gone
The ones left behind
Be the one to show them what true love
Looks like
9. Hands And Feet 1:29
10. Longsuffering 5:12
My life is a story of transformation and submission
I was saved as a young man from the evil of my own plans
God's faithfulness on full display
He's been with me day after day
I've been to the far corners of the earth
Grateful for His grace that gave me second birth
I've followed his leading, I've preached his name
Going where he sends me and following His ways
I followed God and I was thrown in prison
My companions with me were locked away
Yet we prayed and praised and our chains fell off
We prayed and praised and the doors unlocked
Though while in prison we despaired for life
In our weakness and our worship, God saw our plight
He broke the chains from our wrists, the walls around us split
Having the opportunity to escape, we didn't take it
That witness led the jailer to take on new life
Instead of throwing it away and widowing his wife
If you're willing to be used, you'll see lives transformed
He'll be faithful through the trials and the violence of the storm
The storms of life
The winds of the enemy
The waves of the sea
Even when it seems as though we're going underneath
Caught in a raging storm
Tossed by the angry waves
Tormented by the wind
Driven towards land
We made it out alive
So the lesson is trust in God
He's there in the midst of hardship
Giving strength where we would fail
Giving hope when death seems real
Building us up when we are weak
He is the fullness we constantly seek
My life has been anything but easy
Following God is never easy
But all the suffering was worth it
Knowing my pain bore witness to my Savior
My God made a way for me
If pain's my price I'll gladly pay
Everything in this world will come to pass
Suffering lasting but a moment
My life is but a vapor
In the face of eternity
11. (a)thanatos 4:26
Waking up in the cold and dark
I hear their footsteps coming, it's so ironic
'Cause we started here so long ago
I chose hatred over grace
Look where it got me
Loving violence over mercy
Killing innocent men
The same old thing happens yet again
Just like Jesus, Stephen, and the prophets
Humanity killing off God's chosen ones
Though I long to go
I feel there's more work for me to do
If I stay they're edified
If I go, I go to Christ
I'm so torn
I know I've rune the race
Running for the prize
I know I've fought the fight
Victories seen by heaven's eyes
Both my triumphs and my sufferings giving glory to my King
That's why I'm here at the end of my life, sitting in this prison cell, waiting for my demise
But this present suffering pales against the glories to come
This present anguish a jewel in the crown of life
I long to see heaven open up
I long to worship my King
Face to face
Before His throne of grace
My Father's calling me
Still there's people wandering and squandering their lives for something unworthy of following
It's time to pass the torch to all the ministers who've followed me
And pass into the greatness of His glory 'cause these bones are weak
I'm ready to ascend into the presence of the Most High
Man it's been a long ride
Seen a lot of miracles
I'm ready for a body not confined by the boundaries of gravity
I have established that everything I've been establishing here has amounted to the final ascension
I'm about to fall on my knees at the feet of my King
Forever and ever in heaven
It's time to let go of tears that I've cried
There is no reason to run or to hide
I've been in the kingdom of the world for a long time and my reward is up in the sky
I didn't deserve it
I used to murder these people but grace has made me alive
How is it that I have been blessed just to serve at the feet of the God who has given us time
I'm ready to go
I'm leaving my shoes at the door and preparing for death and to be made alive
This world I am leaving it better than when I arrived
It's time to escape from corruption and evil and sin and temptation and all of the lies
I'm standing at the gates of heaven and I'm ready as ever to open them up and walk inside
I hear them at my door
They're here to drag me away
I stood the trial
I passed the test
Now do what you will
The best is yet to come for me
Take this body, and its life
I'll enter heaven's afterlife
Now
12. The Commission 2:32
EXTENDED EDITION BONUS TRACKS
13. Waves Of Fire (ALAL Edition) 3:31
We started a fire within
It's not hard to see
It will burn eternally
We have come alive
And we've been set on fire
Come now and taste the lies you have produced
Come now and see the disaster you have caused
Waves of fire will consume, consume everything
Bow down before him
See the glory pouring form his head
Come forth, experience the pain
The deceivers will fall
There's no getting away
Waves of fire will consume, consume everything
You can't get away
They'll carry you down, carry you down
The deceivers will fall
The waves of fire will carry you down
They will carry you down
Waves of fire
You'll meet the waves, and the Son will show
And now you'll see the end
What has been foretold, but ignored
Meet the one who you refused
We started a fire within
It's not hard to see
It will burn eternally
We have come alive
And we've been set on fire
We have come alive
We have come alive
We have come alive
We have come alive
14. Stephen II - Stephen's Quest For NES 3:57
15. Blind Sight (Zachotomy Remix) 4:01
16. Redirection (Victor Maklakov Remix) 4:06
17. Fury (String Quartet Edition) 5:12
18. Jews And Djentiles (Played On The Piano) 8:04
Face The Storm - Redux (EP, October 24, 2016, Independent) (Digital)
A remaster of the EP of the same name.
1. Compass 4:23
2. Bearing The Mark 3:57
3. Art Of Filth 3:58
4. Vessels Of Destruction 3:59
5. The Heart Of The Father 5:34
Djoy To The World (single, November 25, 2016, Independent) (Digital)
1. Djoy To The World 3:38
Joy to the world
The Lord is come
Let earth receive her King
Let every heart
Prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing
No more let sins and sorrows grow
Nor thorns infest the ground
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found
Let men their songs employ
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy
Let heaven and nature sing
The glories of our king
Let every heart
Prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and nature sing
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Joy to the world
The Lord is come
Let earth receive her King
Let every heart
Prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
In The Grave (single, February 16, 2018, Independent) (Digital)
1. In The Grave 3:59
Can someone save me from the pit
This grave I dug myself, it's filling in?
I built up my walls, created the divide
But now they're caving in, I'm trapped inside
Now I see
The lies that I have believed
Promises of life and fame and fulfillment and self
A sweet, sweet pill with a bitter end
Lay me down inside my grave
I know I'm broken, can I be remade?
Lay me down underneath the ground
I know I'm lost, can I ever be found?
I'm screaming for help, can no one hear the sound?
I spent so long chasing empty dreams
But still you stood there calling me
I pursued the shining gold the wine so red
The bandit, the harlot, the faithless friend
Beaten and abused and left for dead
I had no hope until you took me in
My self-inflicted wounds you began to heal
You filled the emptiness and took away the pain I used to feel
Why did I take so long?
What was I hiding from?
I will never go back
Never go back, not going back
I will never go back
Never go back, not going back
I've been like a withered tree
Growing in the dry bed of a desert stream
I drove my roots into an anchor of sand
But the rain stopped coming to this barren land
I wandered from the path, was lost in the weeds
But you never abandoned me
Dig, dig, dig til I'm 6 feet down in the deep
Still you never abandoned me
I will never go back
Never go back, not going back
I will never go back
Never go back, not going back
You saved me from the pit
The grave I dug myself, you filled it in
The life I lived is buried there
I'll never go back, not going back
(D E S) O L A T E (single, November 10, 2018, Independent) (Digital)
1. (D E S) O L A T E 4:23
Sister, there's so much that's left unsaid
Like the hole that's in my heart
And the knife stuck in your back
Betrayed by those we love and left all alone
With no father to give us direction where we should go
Suppressing emotions to get you by and expecting it to last a lifetime
We can't go on living beneath these lies
I promise to hold you up when you're took weak to stand
On your own
With every bit of strength left in me
I will rebuild what's been taken within
And they were gone within an instant
Vanished before our eyes
How much can one endure until they've completely run dry?
And so we watched our father die
Our whole world, it fell apart
I watched you give it all to a man who never cared for your heart
Desolate
When will enough be enough?
When will this ever end?
I replay these thoughts over and over
I am stuck on repeat
Sister, it kills me to have seen you like this
I will hold on just for you
So we can see this to the end
I will do my best to silence my thoughts
So I don't suffocate and end up like the rest
God breathe life into these broken souls
Restart our hearts and make us whole
Make us whole
I refuse to let you fall
Somehow I'll see us through this
Even if we're the only ones left standing here
Always I'll be right here
This comes straight from my heart
A brother's love lasts forever
Letters From A Broken Heart (album, July 5, 2019, Sancrosanct Records) (CD, Digital)
1. Flatline 0:58
I'm losing my sense of direction
I can feel my heart give in
This is the beginning of my end
Flatline
2. Bitter 4:12
These words that are written in pen
Are like a loaded gun to my head
You've pulled the trigger one thousand times
And I still feel the pain every time I died
Why is it that I never get the closure that I need to move on?
And that I'm always left behind second-guessing my life
Do you remember, do you remember
When you would call me brother?
When you would call me brother?
Oof!
A bond unbreakable
Trust, love, and respect
Honor until the end
Did it ever mean a thing to you?
Did it ever mean a damn thing to you?
I can't escape from this prison
These walls around me are caving in (Caving in)
I'm reaching out but you let me go
And now I'm all alone (Now I'm all alone)
So go ahead and live your life (Live your life)
And pretend like I don't exist (Like I don't exist)
Will you even miss me when I am gone?
Now I'm all alone
You left me
You left me
Why am I so obsessed with approval?
Especially when I'm looking for yours
The silence was more than enough to kill me
And it's killing me
How could you throw me away?
Like I'm worthless and disgusting
I guess I never meant anything to you
'Cause all you see is a self-righteous bastard
I am so fed up believing things will be the same
Oh, who am I kidding?
I'm dying a little bit more on the inside
And each day is a struggle to survive
There's no one I can trust
There is no one
All my friends have turned their back on me
Maybe I'm better off this way
Dying alone
These words that are written in pen have blown a hole straight through my head
Watch the light begin to fade from my eyes
There is no turning back
I'll rest in peace tonight
Goodbye to the friend I knew
Goodbye, I'm sure you'll miss me too
Goodbye to the life I knew
Goodbye, I'm sure you'll miss me
No one will miss me
3. Hang Up 4:45
My emotions have been veiled for far too long
The seams are ripping
This rage can't be contained
My stomach is churning solely at the thought of you intoxicated
We're addicted to what gets us by
We're addicted to what makes us happy
We're addicted to what helps us sleep at night
We're addicted to our pride and selfishness
I'm not one for pointing fingers but I'm so done with this
Years of watching those I love succumb to ignorant bliss
I remember the night with your hands gripped around my neck
Oh God I've been trying to make myself forget
I shut my eyes and pretend everything is alright
But when they give in I feel part of me die
No one will ever know what was taken from me
Taken from me
This has never been easy for me and I don't think that it will ever be
How can my soul ever be at rest?
When my heart's bursting through my chest
I took a glance into your hollow eyes to see a father who lived to die
Nothing I do will bring him back
But the memory forever lies within
The memory of him forever lies within
Forever lies within
I shut my eyes and pretend everything is alright
But when they give in I feel part of me die
No one will ever know what was taken from me
Taken from me
All I want is to forget
All I want is to forget
All I want is to forget
All I want is to for you to come home
4. Confessions 1:22
Dear friends, I can't seem to remember the last time I felt alive
Quite honestly it's been so long since I've felt anything at all
My heart aches and my body trembles as the thoughts begin to swell in my mind
Leaving me with nothing except emptiness and lust
The bitter cycle that has me in shackles
She clawed at my door and I let her in
I'm sorry my friends
I'm not the man you believed me to be
I feel a disconnect between myself and your heart
I can't breathe; pulse is fading
Now I'm stuck at the start
Will there ever be any hope for me?
'Cause I am drowning in this ocean of agony
You are nothing
A disgrace
A failure
You amount to nothing
Sink deeper
5. Desolate 4:21
Sister, there's so much that's left unsaid
Like the hole that's in my heart
And the knife stuck in your back
Betrayed by those we love and left all alone
With no father to give us direction where we should go
Suppressing emotions to get you by and expecting it to last a lifetime
We can't go on living beneath these lies
I promise to hold you up when you're took weak to stand
On your own
With every bit of strength left in me
I will rebuild what's been taken within
And they were gone within an instant
Vanished before our eyes
How much can one endure until they've completely run dry?
And so we watched our father die
Our whole world, it fell apart
I watched you give it all to a man who never cared for your heart
Desolate
When will enough be enough?
When will this ever end?
I replay these thoughts over and over
I am stuck on repeat
Sister, it kills me to have seen you like this
I will hold on just for you
So we can see this to the end
I will do my best to silence my thoughts
So I don't suffocate and end up like the rest
God breathe life into these broken souls
Restart our hearts and make us whole
Make us whole
I refuse to let you fall
Somehow I'll see us through this
Even if we're the only ones left standing here
Always I'll be right here
This comes straight from my heart
A brother's love lasts forever
6. Riven 4:30
There is something clearly wrong with me
Something in my mind is not okay
(Okay, okay, okay, okay)
And I can't seem to face the day
(I'm not okay)
My soul is tied to sin like a noose from a tree
Where misguided hands are free to take piece of me
I tried to do everything that's right
I've become the failure I feared I might
I've been swayed to and fro
With no stability for my roots to grow
All my branches have withered away
And all that's left is decay
Who am I?
What is left of me?
Will I ever find my true identity?
I've been searching in the void hoping to find my purpose
'Cause I'm convinced I am worthless
Peel back the flesh
Open up my chest to reveal
Everything in me that I've tried to conceal
Everything is finally exposed
This is the life I chose, this is the life I chose
Everything is finally exposed
This is the life I chose, this is the life I chose
I've tried so hard to be your worthy son
It's impossible to undo the damage that's been done to me
God send me hell 'cause I deserve to burn like the rest
I betrayed the Father and abandoned the Son
I betrayed the Father for the sake of pleasing everyone
I betrayed the Father and abandoned the Son
For the sake of pleasing everyone
7. Remembrance 1:49
8. Bad Dream 4:32
I found a passion at the age of five
A burning light inside my soul
Then with absolutely no warning the spark was snuffed out
Now I'm lost in the dark
So now I'm all alone; my best friends are my fear and doubt
Crawling on the floor, clawing at the walls; trying to find a way out
Bad dream
Make it stop
Make it stop
Bad dream
Let me wake up
Slipping into the sorrow inside my mind
No one sees the chaos behind these eyes
I'm sinking
Sinking
Just say goodbye
Let me go
Let me go
Let me go
I'll be fine
Let me go
I'll be fine
Let me go
I'm not fine
I still believe that there's a purpose for my life
But it's getting harder
Harder to see it, my vision clouded by the strife
When something you've taken for granted is taken away
It can bring you to your knees
I'm sick of being sick
I'm tired of being tired
I'm broken and it's breaking me
Trapped inside my brain with no hope for victory
'Cause every second of my life is plagued by doubt
I don't think I will ever get out
It's breaking me
This curse is never-ending
Slipping into the sorrow inside my mind
No one sees the chaos behind these eyes
I'm sinking
Sinking
Just say goodbye
Let me go
Let me go
Let me go
I'll be fine
I'll only get better, I'll never get worse
I'll never get better, I'll only get worse
I'll only get better, I'll never get worse
I'll never get better
This torture will end, I'll be set free from the curse
I want to believe the better things that I have heard
But the voices in my head are screaming these words
The voices are screaming
Never better
Only worse
9. Rest 2:08
10. The End 4:22
A relationship mired in difficulty
Actions are triggered that can't be undone
Father can you hear my voice tremble
This conversation has only just begun
These words slip from my mouth so quickly
Sometimes I wish that you'd never called me son
My anger builds as the darkness grows
Deadly poison pours like fire from my mouth
A long history becomes exposed
After years of silence, it finally comes out
Showing no mercy and no restraint
Cutting you down with the toxic words that I say
A knife penetrating straight to your deepest fears
These remarks that I can't ever unsay
Oh God
I can never unsay
I did not hesitate to put you in your place
But I can't shake the feeling this was a mistake
Unforeseen your life is ended in a flash
With words regretted still lingering
Instantly panic starts to set in
I can't fix what I've done because I realize
Your life has ended
Life ended
Is this the hell that I damned you to
Caused by the pain I put you through?
Is this the predetermined outcome
Of false words that were spoken in hatred?
This is the hell that I damned you to
A piece of me that was forever left with you
This is the final resting place for you
As you left this world before the time had come for you
This is the end
Though the end has come my mind will not cease
Thoughts batter my mind keeping me from sleep
Your name repeated breaks me at the seams
Even coming into my dreams
No Return (single, July 17, 2020, Sancrosanct Records) (Digital)
1. No Return 3:53
In that moment life seemed serene
Until you took away the thing that made me, me
Raped my innocence
Raped my innocence
Stripped of fidelity
Lost sense of reality
Raped my innocence
Raped my innocence
Nothing left to give
Nothing else remains in me
I made you my God
A first and final mistake
I placed my life within your hands
A swift stroke and now I'm exposed from the inside out
Left to rot with all of my self doubt
Hate, pain, fear, rage
Enslaved to your game
Just a victim to your sick satisfactions
I played right into your hand
Hoping to find some comfort from when I left my life behind
With every second that passes me by
The louder the voices tell me I should end my life
Maybe they're right
Maybe they're right
Just let me die
Sinking in the shadows as my mind goes numb
Fingers on the trigger looking down the barrel of a gun
Demons dance around me saying you'll never be free
And all that I can see is what you did to me
I am numb
I am gone
Nothing can bring me home
Hate Speech (single, December 4, 2020, Sancrosanct Records) (Digital)
1. Hate Speech 4:01
It's like I'm frozen in time
Trapped inside this mirror with glass walls as frail as my mind
It's like I was born to break
Take a step back 'cause I'm about to suffocate
Short fused
Your hate speech is killing me
You've left me in my misery
I need to break free from these insecurities that are keeping me
From letting this go
Freedom's at the tip of my tongue but I can't let it go
I can't let it go
Forgive and forget is what they say
Turn back the clock so I can make it go away
Recognize what you have become
I want no part in this
No part with you
My body grows weary from this deadweight on my shoulders
Desperate to escape from these horrors
I'm lost in this trance that's driving me to the edge of insanity
Separate from the toxicity that divides us all
My life is so empty
Beaten down by ruthless hate
I want to end it all
Forgive and forget is what they say
Turn back the clock so I can make it go away
Hate speech
Every word you speak tears me apart
Breathes death in my bones
Brings life to my living hell
Misery Season (EP, July 2, 2021, Sancrosanct Records) (CD, Digital)
1. Love 1:04
2. F.F.F. 3:46
Spiraling
Is this too good to be true
Or have the cards been dealt in my favor
I lived a life without knowing love
Until you came into the picture
Head over heels I'm falling face first
Spiraling
All my life I've knowing nothing but pain
From my father's fists to my mother's hate
Then you came and took it away
I found comfort in solace
And I am safe
Rescue me
From the plague that infects my soul
Comfort me
I need to know that you'll never leave my side
Set me free
And I'll make you my saving grace
My heart is laced with the serum in your veins
You are the cure
The antidote to my infection
You are the cure
My absolute
My everything
I'll let down my defenses and dismantle the doubt that has rendered my useless
I was cold to the touch
You breathed life in my lungs and gave me a reason to live
But what if it's all just a façade
And I'm playing right into the trap that you laid for me
I can feel the conflict arising
I am a different shade of jaded
Cut me open, watch my pulse start fading
Eyes dilating, my heart raging, asphyxiating
I am a different shade of jaded
Cut me open, watch my pulse start fading
Eyes dilating, my heart raging, asphyxiating
3. Hate Speech 3:54
It's like I'm frozen in time
Trapped inside this mirror with glass walls as frail as my mind
It's like I was born to break
Take a step back 'cause I'm about to suffocate
Short fused
Your hate speech is killing me
You've left me in my misery
I need to break free from these insecurities that are keeping me
From letting this go
Freedom's at the tip of my tongue but I can't let it go
I can't let it go
Forgive and forget is what they say
Turn back the clock so I can make it go away
Recognize what you have become
I want no part in this
No part with you
My body grows weary from this deadweight on my shoulders
Desperate to escape from these horrors
I'm lost in this trance that's driving me to the edge of insanity
Separate from the toxicity that divides us all
My life is so empty
Beaten down by ruthless hate
I want to end it all
Forgive and forget is what they say
Turn back the clock so I can make it go away
Hate speech
Every word you speak tears me apart
Breathes death in my bones
Brings life to my living hell
4. Violence 2:13
I sit here thinking how this has come to pass
Anticipation builds, anxiety consumes
Is this the final act, where the curtains close
Fear flows through my veins as silence moves on
I hear your footsteps as they echo down the hall
Will this be the day that you decide to end it all
I sit here trembling, you've robbed me of my life
In my own mind I fear I never will find the light
You look right through me as if I wasn't there
My frame invisible as I wither in fear
Even in the silence
Violence
Even in the silence
There is violence
Given reprieve from terror I've felt inside
Still darkness fills me, thoughts echoing in my mind
I take one final glance at the person I used to be
The voices telling me I should leave it behind
5. No Return 3:47
In that moment life seemed serene
Until you took away the thing that made me, me
Raped my innocence
Raped my innocence
Stripped of fidelity
Lost sense of reality
Raped my innocence
Raped my innocence
Nothing left to give
Nothing else remains in me
I made you my God
A first and final mistake
I placed my life within your hands
A swift stroke and now I'm exposed from the inside out
Left to rot with all of my self doubt
Hate, pain, fear, rage
Enslaved to your game
Just a victim to your sick satisfactions
I played right into your hand
Hoping to find some comfort from when I left my life behind
With every second that passes me by
The louder the voices tell me I should end my life
Maybe they're right
Maybe they're right
Just let me die
Sinking in the shadows as my mind goes numb
Fingers on the trigger looking down the barrel of a gun
Demons dance around me saying you'll never be free
And all that I can see is what you did to me
I am numb
I am gone
Nothing can bring me home
6. Escape Artist 5:14
Sever the ties that have left me in bondage
Sever the ties
Beaten, bloodied, black and blue (Black and blue)
You won't let up until you're through (with me)
I watched as the blade was held against my neck
My heart sinks in my chest for this might be my end
Fading in and out of consciousness
I need to pull it together
If I want to escape from this madness that has left me in shambles
My eyes lock onto his as the rage settles in
Hatred, anguish, torment
Hatred, anguish, torment
You left me with
Hatred, anguish, torment
Hatred, anguish, torment
What did I ever see in you
I was promised the world but you tore it in two
You're not a man but the devil in the flesh
The fires of your hell burn a hole in my chest
Oh God, I need you now
I'm burning out, I'm blacking out, I'm breaking down
Tired of doing this on my own
The lifelessness as you lay me to rest
Fading away
I was driven to insanity
Beaten down by your ruthless hate
My first and final mistake
Was when I looked away from everything
That made me who I am
Escape was worth the pain
My worth is greater than your hate
So now I'll forgive and forget
Learn to heal from the past, and erase the regret
Oh God, make me whole
Something To Feel (single, December 10, 2021, Independent) (Digital)
1. Something To Feel 4:32
If I could bring these feelings to life
Then they would become the rope
I would tie them around my neck
So the whole world could watch me choke
Now here lies a broken man
Defective and diseased (Defective and diseased)
Maybe one day someone will see
The very best in me
Why does it have to be me?
I'm searching for love
I'm searching for answers
I'm trying to find my way out of this nightmare
I'm hopelessly lost
So cold and abandoned
I'm trying to feel what is real
How many times will it take for me to get the memo?
Hands begin to shake
Heart begins to ache from burdens that have left me shallow
Why do I let them in?
Only to let them down?
With good intentions comes the risk of leaving them to drown
I can't seem to understand
Or grasp the reasons why
I'm stuck in this cycle of misery
While the rest just leave me behind
Friend, do you remember when you called me brother?
Father, did you care to think about your son?
Lover, what happened to forever?
Left alone, I think I'm going numb
Friend, why did you have to let me go?
Father, why did you take your life?
Lover, was I never enough?
Left alone and out of time
I'm searching for love
I'm searching for answers
I'm trying to find my way out of this nightmare
I'm hopelessly lost
So cold and abandoned
I'm trying to feel what is real
There is nothing left to feel
There is nothing left to feel
There is nothing left to feel (Nothing left to feel)
There is nothing left to feel (Nothing left to feel)
There is nothing left to feel (Nothing left to feel)
Except the blade beneath my skin (Blade beneath my skin)
There is nothing left to feel (Nothing left to feel)
There is nothing left to feel (Nothing left to feel)
There is nothing left to feel (Nothing left to feel)
Except the blade that's beneath
No comments:
Post a Comment